Aloha!! Finally, after a month of non-ideatic syndrome (I don't have any ideas to write??!!), finally I have a little courage to write again (hip hip hooray!!) Maybe it's because of a month of holiday, so I also have my brain in vacation.. Haha... Okay, forget it...
Actually, I still don't have any ideas, what should I write here.. Huh, maybe I just want to share about some big points in my life... My life in this holiday can be supposed as a picture of valley and ended with a climbing-line.. Okay, enough with the analogy...
Hmm, in the beginning of my holiday, what I do is spending a lot of times and money with my high school friends, maybe it's suitable if I say it's a hedoniticum era.. Really, I feel so regretful of that time recently because of my friend who's said about saving money (Special thx to him...) so I'm realized about the bad habit, situation, and conditon...
Next, falling down moment, where I feel so sad, lazy, and hard to do my own life... I was sad when I thought that my friends had forgotten me for one kind of activity.. Furthermore, I felt that they hadn't realized anymore about my presence in this universe... (too much, eka)... Especialy thx for one of my firend here, to make a great imagination about the others' way to forget me (from my birthday, etc.)
Last but the most important, peak-searching effort.. How I must climb vertically to feel that I'm who I am, to feel that I have my own life, and I have my own fingers to play my own life melody on life's piano... (just analogy).. And I realize that although they didn't show any signs for me, I know from the bottom of their heart, they are happy to have me in this world (narcist)... :D
But, I also have to know about other's presences in my life, recognized it, and do my decision without hurting them in their heart... Even this is my own piano, but I play it not only for my satisfaction, but also for entertaining them and giving a meaning to them.... :)
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